Remembering Grandpa...

In honor of my grandfather, who would have turned 98 today, I ate apple pie for dinner.

As he would have said, "if the dessert is what you really want to eat, then why not eat it first?"
He probably didn't voice this rhetorical question until he was in his 70s, but I'm not waiting that long to answer it in the affirmative for myself! Grandpa, consider this meal my birthday tribute to YOU!

I remember "apple crisp" being served for dessert at his and Grandma's house when I was a kid. Unfortunately, both of my grandparents died before I was even a teenager, so I don't have any memories of them beyond childhood. And double-unfortunately, I was a a veeeeery picky eater as a child. Because what I remember about apple crisp at Grandpa and Grandma's house was being afraid of it. I refused to even try it, because it looked "weird." I just sat on my dad's lap after dinner, trying to avoid drawing attention to myself. But from the chair next to us, Grandpa scooped up a spoonful of soft cinnamony apples and crispy batter, donned the voice of an airplane, and flew that scary stuff back and forth in front of me: "zzzzzzz.... ZZZZZZzzzzz....." I curled up in a ball, squeezing my mouth shut tight and trying to avoid eye contact. "Try it, Abigail," he coaxed. I turned my head away, feeling my face get hot with embarrassment. "Try it for Grandpa," he said ever so kindly and gently. By then my heart was beating fast and my emotion had turned to shame. But I wouldn't do it. I was one stubborn child, and even though I was filled with guilt by refusing to even taste this unfamiliar food, I couldn't do it.

Sigh. Food is such a big part of our lives. This is especially true in the communal aspect. When we gather together with loved ones - friends or family - food often colors the context. We eat to celebrate. We talk while we eat. We share our lives at the dinner table. We create, maintain and build relationships while surrounded by our favorite dishes. It's no wonder then, that cultural and family traditions are replete with treasured foods and meals. So even as a little five-year-old girl, I sensed that I was not only rejecting a piece of an apple cooked in sugar and flour; but that I was also refusing a gesture of love and generosity from my father's father. I felt awful about it, and could only hope that my grandfather would forgive me. Well, I'm sure he did, because he lives on in all of our memories as a model of wisdom, compassion and understanding.
But let's fast-forward about 25 years to my most recent experience with an apple-based dessert. Grandpa, I hope this makes you proud.

I've certainly come a long way from the picky eater that I was as a child. In addition to eventually learning that apple crisp is a quite enjoyable dessert food, I've come to love trying newdishes and am incorporating new foods into my diet on an ongoing basis. Oh but wait, you may say, now that you're a vegan, you're basically a picky eater all over again, right?  How on earth does your family put up with you? Ah, good question! I could recall many recent family vignettes in order to answer that question, but I'll let this apple pie night speak for itself.
I was invited over to my brother and sister-in-law's house for dinner this weekend, and not only did my sister-in-law make every possible attempt to make an all-out vegan meal, but she baked two vegan pies!!

Apple Raisin Pies to be specific! So very enticing did this pie look that one of my nieces just about poked her finger in and stole the first bite! Well, we all got our fair share, and I even got to take home leftovers.

A nice thick crust that was both chewy and flaky, perfectly cooked apples, sweet raisins, all smothered together in a sugary cinnamon syrup. And while many pies have a layer of dough covering the top, this open-faced method not only looks really beautiful when placed on the table, but has a really nice 50-50 balance of crust and fruit. I laughed as my five-year old niece ate all the apples and raisins on her plate, but left behind the crust. And my eight-year old niece picked off the raisins and gave them to her grandfather! Ah, the joy of seeing a bit of yourself in your younger relatives!
My sister-in-law had never made vegan apple pie before. But she made some changes to her regular recipe to accommodate for me. And I'm happy to report that everyone, including myself, loved it!

Family food traditions are something to be cherished, even if they change a little from one generation to the next. I don't have the recipe for Grandpa's Apple Crisp. But what is it about Apple Crisp that enables it to have a special place in my family? Is it the ingredients list? No, not quite. It's the experience that has gone along with eating it: family memories and togetherness. Just as my sister-in-law was willing to alter her apple pie recipe to augment our family gathering, I wouldn't mind making some minor changes to Grandpa's Apple Crisp recipe in order to make it vegan. Hopefully I'll get to try that out very soon and let you know! It is apple picking season after all!

Thomas John Carlisle

(Thanks cousin Jeremy for this pic.)